CHICAGO, IL – In a bold announcement, Corona Virus has announced his Candidacy for the Democratic Nomination. In his speech, it announced promises like lower medical costs, less people on disability and a boost to retail sales.
When asked if that required the killing of thousands, he stated, “It’s still safer than Socialism,” and when asked why it joined the race, said, “well I have a feeling my competition will be dropping pretty soon.”
It expressed a great fondness for Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders, which somehow didn’t put them at ease, saying, “Hey we are all working for China, I just admit it.” When asked, “Can you beat Trump,” it responded that Trump is healthy, but he is the right age to be stopped dead in his tracks.
Both Democratic challengers the press bothers to cover said that it was an outrage that someone born in another country (China) would be able to share the stage, and demanded immediate deportation. When asked, Trump said, “It is the finest disease ever, since my Son.” In a later Press release Biden announced he was half Spirochetes. Some say it’s pandering, as Corona is said to be the Front Runner, as fresh and young. Given past speeches, Biden may actually be telling the truth.
