Dumpster Dive, CA – In a report by the Total Melvin Zone, some crazy assed bitch killed a man by writing his name on her hand. When asked, the stalker said, “we reported extensively about this crazy assed bitch and no one heeded the warning.” An LA County Coroner office said, “the bribe is okay, but you only get one question,” and being asked about the cause of death, he said, “Crazy Assed Bitch with Creepy Tattoo.” This horrible event just leaves us wondering, what low life bottom feeding humorist will pick his bones first.