FLYOVA, WI – Our stringer sat with a Conservative, Ty Tuss, and learned these fascinating things by the fine constitutional scholar.
Stringer: So, do you think George Floyd actually knowingly traded a bad 20 dollar bill?
TT: Fuck Yes!
Stringer: How?
TT: He was accused of it, that’s how, the Shop Keeper said so.
Stringer: How do you know the shop keep didn’t see a perfect mark in a drugged up guy tripping balls and didn’t swap his bad money up?
TT: Because the cops came to arrest Floyd, he must be guilty.
Stringer: So how do you know this money hadn’t traveled person to person like a hot potato?
TT: Again, because the cops came, why would they lazily arrest someone without investigating?
Stringer: Well let’s move on.
TT: Okay, I’ll happily keep winning!
Stringer: Daunte Wright, so he was wanted for a Robbery, Gun Charge, and Air Freshener.
TT: Yeah, you need to be careful of those Air Fresheners, they can be dangerous in the wrong hands.
Stringer: I’ll just move on, what about the Robbery, he left without money and had a gun, how do you know it was a Robbery?
TT: Because the cops said so, because they shot him. They don’t kill innocent people.
Stringer: Okay and….
TT: Wait, about Floyd, he spent time in jail for holding a gun at Pregnant Woman.
Stringer: He was released, double jeopardy, did Chauvin have a right to put his life in Jeopardy for that reason?
TT: Yeah, the Legislature failed to make a proper sentence for his crime.
Stringer: Oh, so Chauvin fixed your inability to complain to a State Representative?
TT: Yes!
Stringer: Back to Wright, so if there was no Robbery, how about the gun?
TT: Well I am pro 2a, however the cops recognized he was a danger, and therefore had to consider that certain gun owners are a threat even if they haven’t been proven guilty of anything.
Stringer: So you believe this.
Stringer: Lets move on to Supreme Court Judge Kavanaugh…..
TT: Hey, no cop killed him, he has a right to due process.
So in conclusion, if you are not killed by a cop, you are innocent til proven guilty and totally protected by the bill of rights, according to this Constitutional Scholar, and if your dead, well tough luck, your guilty.
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