SANFRANCISCO, CA – The International Pride Society unveiled it’s new official eraser. “We hope it sends a message, we hope it tells everyone how dedicated Pride is to the cause of inclusion,” said spokesperson B. I. Navah. “One flag, one united persons under the Democratic Party!” Navah continued.
They took the design to represent how dedicated they are to a single LGBT person, a one mind, a unity of people under one rainbow. “It’s a celebration of all that is Gay and Lesbian and the people we Pink Wash.”
There would be more, but this sight is dedicate to lazy click bate.
SADBOTTOM, CA – In a pathology about weeping over everything, Carlos Maza has came out as homophobic demanding a mass unfollowing of hot gay bodies on instagram.
Mean jokes weren’t enough for him, he had to stop everything he claimed turned him on.
This image of sultry young men, was what triggered him. Why, “Sthey are stho unrealsthic looking,” said Maza. Insistent that most gay men are swarthy four eyed whiny bitchy twinks like himself.
One thing he under estimated, no one cares about any man being demeaned or given an unrealistic body expectation, it’s about intersectional feminism, not Men. Only lesbians can whine about barby.
String up and deplatform this homophobe and sexist, yells National Association of Mainsteam Media President, who’s name is Classified for some reason.
“He refused to check his male privilege,” he said, “It’s time he be disappeared.”
Jerry Falwell would be proud of any man taking on hot sultry male bodies on the internet. Christian Coalition spokesman, Ng Toler said, “Thank god for people like Maza, did you know that Crowder used the F word?”
ATLANTA, GA – The Department of homeland security has issued a warrant for Unknown Hinson yeat they have not been able to find him anywhere during the day.
When asked why they wanted him, Chief of Constitutional Infraction at the DHS or the DHS, Noel Rights said “We found a tape recording of him singing about dying and take everyone with him.”
Because the Patriot Act was written by George W Bush, naturally the laws specified suspected vampires.
The DHS has been searching for a shack of squids said to be a part of this terror cell.
If anyone has seen him they are to contact Noel Rights, at the DHS. He is considered armed dangerous, and possibly fanged.
COVETRY, ISRAEL – In a shocking turn of events, Jesus descended onto the world, and as his first action he healed the typical disabled person by laying his hands, however, he is a man and she was a woman.
So what was to be a Miracle, is not a clear Rape.
“It was horrible, it was like Cosby, Mike Tyson, Weinstein and Jerrod all wrapped together and happening again,” said National Organization of Women’s Intersectional head, Anna Rahg. When asked about the Miracle, when she got to walk again she responded, “Did you not see him touch her without her permission?”
she went on, “Sure she can walk, sure she can speak, sure she can no be in massive pain, but she is clearly traumatized.”
When asked if Ana spoke to the Victim, she said there was no need, she was there to speak for her and all women and intersectional people.
There was no need for any of us in the MSM or Left-Bloggers to get the Jesus side of the story, nor bother with all that Due Process nonsense, since it’s clearly a privilege and a right.
I just hope that, in the future, that men…err white men, since we need ethno males to be obedient servants, will be very careful when they try to offer up “miracles” and help people.
Article correction: White Men includes Neil DeGrasse Tyson, who raped a woman by looking at her tattoo. We apologize to his victim and the black community for not isolating him from it and making broad claims against them, it is my fault, I have some white ancestors. Even males.
SILLYCONVALLE, CA – Hate Criminal Steven Crowder, went on a massive brutal violent verbal attack on innocent Gay Hispanic Male, Carl Maza. His feelings are currently in Gynosensitivity Wing of SF General Hospital. Premier health facility for feelings in Northern California.
He was rushed to their Emergency Room within minutes of his harmful jokes, with several broken self esteems and losing lots of saline. At least according to the attending physician, Dr. Fin Sken, MD.
“We have top Homeopaths working on him around the clock,” said the MD, “We are also dealing to his allergy to the word figs.”
“This is a heinous crime,” said Vox Chairman Mao Redman, “they say there is nothing that can be done about this savage attack!” “We may try England, we here Bitchute is based there.”
Bitchute is an thought of as being a hate monger platform for video creators oddly enough where Nazi pugs congregate.
Vox has claimed this is a war crime and Youtube is to blame, and they will only be satisfied when a tribunal is issue by The Hague.
SHADYWEASLES, CA – In a brave announcement of Nazi Killing and Dragon chasing, which is a weekend in a Los Angeles Alleyway, they proudly showed off Elderstein 79 3D: The Microtransactioning and the VR version along side it.
“We are very pleased to tell everyone about our new technology to actually charge Microtransactions directly from your brain, using memories of your most recent credit card,” said Sam Dushe, Director of the Department of Glitch and Pinch at Bathesda.
“With stunning graphics distracting you from unsatisfying story lines and game play we will never stop collecting those small purchases that add up with many Gotcha Crates worth of cash,” said the Department of Cash Vaccuming head, Hugh Cashman, “If it all goes bad, we will virtue signal at our parent company.”
“Did you see that pecker that Transexual was sporting? For shame.” said Head of Woke, Izzy White.
Naturally this is a Game of the Year, I plan on giving it a several star review after a trip to a luxury resort. Totally unrelated.
See, there was no point in asking what cursed them to post it, other than a desperate need for clickbate revenue to claim we had to our public investors.
It’s obviously Steven Crowder’s fault for the lack of content.
DEHDRAENBO, UAE – The Bahrain Grand Prix had problems this weekend with a strange weather phenomena. It was literally raining Gay Men. When asked why. some viewers said they heard there was a huge party thrown by their Justice Ministry.
When asking FIA officials, all we got was, “we love it here in Barhain,” and that “he we’re woke, we fired a bunch women who were paddock girls.” “We helped increase the wage gap, through unemployment, but stopped misogyny.”
Many avoided the issue, except the Williams racing team, who’s official said “this is why our car is never getting 12th place.”
MAGICPONYFARTS, DC – Mueller Probe found no collusion with Russia, but it isn’t the end of Trump’s problems, according to Eva Goldy Brown of the Intersectional Society of Finger Pointing.
“Trump is still white,” said Eva, a porcelain skinned blonde blue eyed girl. She continued on….well to say when I woke up hours later and she was still talking, saying, “…and because of his cis white make privilege he must be impeached and tossed into jail.”
When reached for comment a senior staff member at the Whitehouse said, “Anyone can tell you, and everyone has, that he is Orange.”
Ms Brown was, in a followup, said, “He lives in the Whitehouse, what more proof is needed.”
No one at DNC could not be reached for comment, they are planning a suicide party.
A Congresswoman named for a Spanish colonialist yelled “but he’s white.”
Sadly we couldn’t much more than these ad homs, so this is going to be short.
GUNGRAB, NZ – All of New Zealand’s White Population, or Perceived White Population have been arrested and sentenced to death after being found guilty of anti-Arab Genocide.
The NZ Labor Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, said “This was a great moment in NZ history,” she said, “Finally whites will pay for their injustice.”
Her position was steadfast, at least until she too was arrested with most of Parliament. She kicking and Screaming, and the Leader of Act Laughing.
Now cramped in one prison centre, unfit for most of the population, they pondered on how this could happen, “how could the do this?” she yelled, “I restricted guns and speech,” she appealed.
Consequently after being raped in Prison, she had to be mercy killed. Her last words were touching when she said, “They have a right to their religious traditions.”
TWOCROWS, CA – Just after a week of firing specific unreliable people for vague racist tweets, Disney Vice President of the Department of Virtue announced, “We will be bringing you Monica,” unveiling the image below as their spec design.
“No need to complain,” Raz Zhist said, “We are promising a very prominent cameo for what ever she was in the MCU.”
The Department of Victim Services of the Bay Area Victim Culture Shelter said, “Finally, as long as she was born a male and transitioned, and rides a wheel chair.” Zer Fuhk N Edeo, is demanding but encouraged by the news, when probed to why he insists on the Wheel Chair he said, “What are you a racist?”
The able bodied Zer refused to answer the questions further, he had an appointment to ask his dad for money.
FAHRENLEFT, CA – In waves of criticism over freedom of speech issues and privacy, Facebook is working on bold new ways to counter criticism from Computer Illiterate politicians.
“We are working hard to make sure that no one knows your in relationship when you announce publicly you are in a relationship,” said Chief of Anachronistic Policy, Lai Orr.
He stated that they have put a huge effort in privacy matters by purging Libertarians and some Conservative opinions from the platform. Orr was clear when he said, “Libertarians are more likely to worry about privacy, so you remove that, and no one complains.”
When asked about fake news, he said, “didn’t I say we removed them?” “See by removing Libertarians, there are no other outside voices defending a Conservative, or perceived Conservative’s Opinions.”
They claim they learned it from Twitter, when asked about Gab, Minds, and Bitchute. He just pissed his pants and ranted about the evils of competition and said it will be no different when they have to deal with the SEC, the Anti-Social Network you need to go public.
A user who doesn’t want to be names, showed us a profile saying Amy Locco, complained how every time she’d post some thing public it was on search engines, and that just putting a public birthdate made it too easy for advertisers and data miners to know her age.
When asked the National Association of SEC Social Media said that this is why privacy is priority, people never figure out simple features.
LEGION OF DOOM, WASHINGTON DC – Just minutes of her announcement the Democratic National Committee announced 100% of the vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton, by the Super Delegates.
“The votes that matter have spoken,” said DNC Campaign Overseer, Hillary Clinton. “This is a proud day for Democracy,” she went on.
When asked how the person she affectionately called a “Super Predator,” Corey “Sparticus” Booker. how he felt, he just repeated robotically “She is the nominee, we must obey.”
The GOP spokesman, Colluda Cosonova said, “This was a relief, we worried the Democrats may have ended that Super Delegate System by now.”
The Libertarian Party have something to say, but the MSM agrees to keep their comments down to stupid misspoken foreign policy words. So it’s likely unimportant.
The Greens say they plan to nominate someone from a hat as usual.
One thing can be for certain, we can be happy to expect another dynamic 2 party battle.
HOLLYWOKE, CA – Many are applauding awards even given away to a 3 and half year old motion picture, in a show diversity, but Zer Paxie Whyteman is not.
Head of the National Association for the Advancement of Woke People called the Oscars of 2019, “A hate rally against the Intersectional,” zer Whyteman who is appears to look lily skinned and able bodied person with a mustache born with the name Paxton, Identifies a, “Disabled Black Woman.”
This disabled Black Woman, said, “Why was it not 100% trans disabled black women who identify as gender fluid?” “It is clear hate!”
When pointing out that Spike Lee got an award after years of being passed up, zer said, “Pfff, he’s a man, and identifying as such makes him a rapist.” “The Oscars support rape!,” yelled Whyteman, who accidentally protested outside an Oscar Myer Wiener factory.
I could have gotten more out of zer, but zhe needed to find more weed, yelling, “White rapists [men] in MAGA hats,” were to blame for zer’s low supply.
Clearly zhe is very passionate. If only more people could be “Woke.”
HOLLYWOKE, CA – In a sudden outrage toward a playboy interview made in 1971, the late John Wayne, offended many, “The Star of True Grit offended and hurt many, why can’t he make a proper personal apology?”
After pointing out he was dead and he said these things to playboy many decades ago, they responded with, “Well…that’s no excuse for hurting anyone,” spokesperson Zim Lily Whyte said insisting on a pronoun they couldn’t explain.
“We live a Society that shouldn’t have hurt feelings!” Whyte said.
The Academy has addressed a letter to his grave. LGTBT groups also are also planning on demanding the apology of people going back to Christian Activist, Gaius Arbiter, who Nero had charged with consorting with, as well as mocking Pagan Society.
The Late Senator Byrd, “he’s still a hero,” according to Whyte, “What he did was in the past, he was a DNC member in good standing, that’s enough for me.”
MEXICOCITY, MX – The Honduran Convoy rams into Tolivar Albinoni, F1 driver with the all time record for being lapped.
During Qualifying, despite massive historical claims of why he never manages to at least stay on lap. Such as bad engine, cheap team, blocks for tires….the list goes on, but now he has suddenly been hit by Thousands of Hondurans illegally in Mexico seeking to enter the United States.
“This is horrible, now I have to sit at the back,” says Albinoni, “Why can’t they look where they are going?”
Seems the Hondurans wanted to see the Race on the way, but in normal fashion didn’t want to bother with the rules of entering the course or pay for it.
Anarchist, Alark Rode was reached for commentary, and all he could say is, “Everyone should be free to enter any country, track, but not my home…go away…”
Mexican authorities where outraged. Conquista Cortez of the Mexican Immigration said, “We did not allow them to stay here, they were suppose to bother the US. If they stand still long enough, we will have to fly them to Canada.” FIA officials were too busy figuring out the winner of the race for comment.
OVERDRUGGED, FL – In a fit of rage that a Madden Character took a knee, the NRA complained and were told that it was just a bug. But this didn’t satisfy them, says unbiased report of Gun Control Now!
They say they have opinions that prove that they found a horrible player to shoot a crowd to kill. “Unfortunately he was as good a shot as he was a player,” said the group, “We hoped to have more death data going into the mid terms.”
“Certainly it’s the NRA,” said GCN’s data compiler, Loegi Klass, “In fact our opinion based evidence shows ties to Gamergate and 5th Amendment Groups.”
The group insists that people holding steadfast to presumption of innocence has made it hard to prevent people from being deprived of their 2nd Amendment rights.
Plans to fight an appeal of the 5th Amendment are on the way. But till then they hope they can show their evidence and gain seats for others who question the validity of policies that presume innocence.
MAYVILLE, ENGLAND – In a wave of “Grossly Offensive” attacks towards Dr. Who’s writing and timing of 50 years to establish The Doctor as being from a Species of Puffin like Humanoids.
They have expanded Dankula’s Law to apply Grossly Offensive in the 3rd Degree to anyone mocking bad writing in Dr Who while a woman plays The Doctor. “Sure it’s not rape, but if offends our sensibilities,” Cried Chibnall, the only writer willing to to stay, “It doesn’t matter if we are good at what we do, we need people to wat…I mean…she’s a woman.”
When asked why it wasn’t done 32 years ago, he replied, “Those sexists where too busy showing off adventurous career women, they never thought one could be male Scientist from another world.” He went on to take credit for being the first man to make a central female character who hunt evil Aliens, Ridley Scott was not available for comment.
When asked why the Death Penalty, Boris Johnson said, “No one should be able to get away for hurtful jokes and comments, it’s just not British, like the smelly Niqab people.” “The UK will not tolerate them making fun of or refuting the merits of a woman Doctor,” Boris said, “The BBC is scared, they already messed up Top Gear, they have nothing else to promote!” he went on, and on, and on, and on, to say, “Besides, A Woman, did I mention a diverse set of male writers?” “We did a lot for men, it use to be the Male to Female regular cast was 2 Females to 1 Male, now it’s 50/50.” He also said all complaints about the “End of Daffyness complaints are racist and punishable by death.”
When asked if a woman should do his job, he said, “Fuck no! But not that I am sexist, just, well, I’m not good at anything, what else would I do?”
When Chibnall was asked of the short life span of the last Actor’s incarnation, he said, “Who cares about some Scot with a wop name, now at least it’s a proper English name on the credits.”
When asking if the Death Penalty was a little extreme, many politicians and activists said the same thing, “but it’s a woman.”
One thing is for sure, no one is safe in the UK without a MP Seat or Knighthood.
BOYBUGGAH, OR – Due to ancient tweets by James Gunn being entered into evidence of gross sexual abuse of a minor, the Wishing Tree was arrested and charged with a count of child molestation.
“Since we learned the tweets were literal descriptions of what transpired, we acted quickly,” said Oregon State Police. “We want all Trees, to know we won’t be tolerating this.”
The Pine Tree has yet since claimed it was racism, and that a Birch could easily have done it.
The North American Tree Boy Love Association plans to make a complaint to the supreme court under human rights complaints.
WTF DC, USA – The Democrats are excited over the 2020 election thinking they can get a man who has all the traits of Trump, but has the right brand name. “He’s one of us!” Says DNC Chairman Lai Aeyr, “He’s stands for what we do,” he goes on, “Feminism, Anti-Hate, Loves Abortion, Taxes, Spending Wastefully, Respect of Women, and Metoo.” Lai Aeyr expects they will convince him to take the Super Delegate nomination for 2020 and went on with additional excitement, “See not just his Respect of Women, Feminism, Fighting Male Toxicity.
He also has the Narcissism, Massive Insecurities, Lack of Regard for Women, A Former CEO, and also hosted a mildy watched TV show. Hell he didn’t just grab some pussy, “he used tactical abuse to get it.”
Aeyr said that Tactical abuse is all two party politics is about.
Will Hardwick say yes? Or as he pronounces the word, “no?” It’s just a matter of time.
HOLYSHIT, CA – NAMBLA thanked Peter Fonda proudly for supporting their lifestyle and even going as far as offering the President’s son on June 19th, 2018 in a highly acclaimed tweet.
“We are in great debt to Hollywood finally recognizing our struggle,” said Riley Pervay of the Institute for Child Love. “Finally we can be recognized as a common alternative lifestyle,” he went on as this reporter vomited profusely.
They had little to say, aside from “we’re going to Disney Land,” which isn’t actually a cliche in this case.
CITY OF VANCOUVER, BC – The Zombies could rise any time, if rents are to say anything. “I can’t afford to die,” said 100 y/o Ina Graves, “I have one foot in and the rent is crazy, a whole plot will kill me despite death.”
Suicide may drop when people realize there is little savings in death rents.
One Zombie was seen eating brains said, “I was just evicted from my Vancouver plot,” he said, “It’s not my fault I have eat brains out of the East Van trash bins!”
Mayor Robertson said, “hey we decided 3000ish was affordable, I can afford it, so it’s affordable housing.” Gregor and his council live in poverty as the few people in Vancouver who can vote themselves a pay raise.
When asked about all these horrible rent situations Kerry Jang just responded by signing his RX Pad and committing people who were a problem for him.
“Finally a free place to live, and drugs!” said a man who was complaining at city hall and later sent to the VGA Assessment Wards for Paranoia. “It’s great I can get housing some how, but what about the suicide they watch me for?” the unknown homeless man of no important name said, “Potters field goes for 700/mo.”
GRIEFPORN, NEWSDESKS, SA – The Mass Media is in deep mourning, “Why, why, oh why was it not a shooting!,” said long time media monster and reporter Nu Lo, “I was so excited, it was going to be our turn to push new March for our Lives.”
The Washington Post had already reported an AR 15 was driving the truck into the bus full of hockey players and their coach.
“Sure we love sorts of exploitable human suffering, but lets face it, it’s not the same with Gun to blame, a movement to expand things. Video Games, Movies to accuse!” said the Editor-In-Chief.
Clearly some news sources, even openly fake sources, have no conscience about such matters, even we couldn’t help but sociopathicaly engage in such matters.
CHUNNEL, UK THRESHOLD, UK – Amidst new strict laws regulating the ridicule of anything, especially Nazis, and tough anti-Terror laws stopping threat of 80 pound women dripping wet, tough retro-active sentencing has been adopted. In doing so, as of 21:00 last night the entire cast and crew was pulled out of their means of travel, just exiting the Chunnel, and were pulled into a dank room and shot in the back.
They were expecting to do a reunion of their Australian “Hate Crime,” the border guard said, “We set it up, it was a ploy with the BBC as our final solution to this filth,” said MP Nutya Byznus, “One day our ancestors will praising our name with love in their hearts.”
Meanwhile several rapes and bombing occurred behind MP Byznus, that the non-specific gender pronouned MP would have noticed had they stopped bathing in blood for a moment or hours…it was several hours.
Some drank it. It didn’t get better.
Prime Minister May. could not be reached for comment, her secretary said she was just hurt they started without her.
CRAWFORD, TX – An abortion clinic was shut down for using old fashioned methods, due to a Crawford ordinance. “We has no choice,” said officer Albert Busen, “Crawford is very strict, no wire hangers.”
Clinic owner claims some like the old fashioned method, and that many people would be glad not to be born in Crawford.
“It’s an attack on free choice,” says Officer Busen, who has a free abortion and fetus burger with his frequent customer card, “where else will I send my road side freebies when I might have gotten them pregnant?”
“It’s also one of the only places that uses all of what they kill,” Busen praises on, “this town will feel empty without it.”
“But we can’t have any more wire hangers.”
The Mayor was not available.
CAPEFEAR, SA – According to stats offered by the South African Officials, huge numbers of whites have been committing suicide in South Africa simply by producing food for the country’s Farm to Table markets.
“It’s insane, people are dying and being maimed in record numbers,” says South African parliamentarian who called himself, “Die you white devil.”
According to him just by growing the very needed food during massive water shortages can get you killed, and all by your own hand. Some have shot themselves with planting their very crops and dragging their lifeless corps in their house completely covered in blood.
A health warning was issued as followed, something called “Kill White Farmers.”
BUCHAREST, RU – As the tanks hit the former Romania, a probe into the Russian election as to the possibility of inside Russian influence in the Russian Elections making Putin the longest standing leader under suspicious circumstances since Stalin.
Unnamed Sources, not at all made up, said there was huge amounts of Russian Advertising aimed at re-electing Putin.
The rest of this report was torn up by border patrols…..
#Metoo is going strong and people are wondering, “why don’t they believe women?”
Some say it’s this sick obsession with due process, and “evidence…” maybe hang ups on pictures and broads who are shocked a home visit audition went bad. But no, people traced the problem too the Mulva incident.
“People who watch and repeat Seinfeld are rapists!” says Alice Morono, “One day it’s a clever dirty joke, the next it’s ….. nag nag nag … and he’ll rape her, and because she said he did, even know she didn’t have a smoking dress.
Arch feminists are calling for a ban on all comedy mentioning vaginas, to avoid these potential rape by accredited repeated humor.
“These people are nuts,” says arch feminist critic and feminist lawyer, Susan Bee, who thinks that suing over sitcom jokes is “why people think Weinstein is still an ok…well Cosby… well some of them are okay guys.”
Still Mz Morno insists the only way to do things is a full on assault on comedy, and end to a sense of humor.
“It’s working in Vancouver,” she insists.
Will Comedy win the war? One can only tell.
*When quoting Comedy or Comedians, give credit where it’s due, don’t pretend it’s yours.
CRUSHINGLOSES – VANCOUVER, BC – Kim Campbell ragged on journalists and news readers who flashed their ankles, “It’s undignified,” “the men were at least wearing long socks,” she went on to say.
Campbell, the former forgotten Female PM, was just outraged that this porn was called news and said in her day they would tar and feather people for “such filth.”
Her former Reform Party competitor and Libertarian, Ian Isbister, fainted when the issue was mentioned.
When a news producer, Miss Soji Nee was asked, she stated her station’s official stance was, “That since the 1940s policy had changed, as the laws didn’t find anything sexual anymore about ankles.”
French
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Cheville indigne: Kim Campbell
————————————— CRUSHINGLOSES – VANCOUVER (C.-B.) – Kim Campbell a dénoncé les journalistes et les lecteurs de nouvelles qui lui ont montré des chevilles: «C’est indigne», «les hommes portaient au moins de longues chaussettes», a-t-elle ajouté.
Campbell, l’ancien Premier ministre oublié, était tout simplement indigné que ce porno a été appelé nouvelles et a dit dans son jour qu’ils goudronneraient et plumeraient les gens pour “une telle saleté”.
Son ancien concurrent du Parti réformiste et libertarien, Ian Isbister, s’est évanoui lorsque le problème a été mentionné.
Lorsqu’on a demandé à une productrice de nouvelles, Mlle Soji Nee, elle a déclaré que la position officielle de sa station était: «Depuis les années 1940, la politique avait changé, car les lois ne trouvaient plus rien de sexuel au sujet des chevilles.
Hungarian
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A bokák tisztességtelen: Kim Campbell
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Kimászó veszteség – VANCOUVER, BC – Kim Campbell az újságírók és a hírlistaikkal szemben, akik a bokájukat villanták fel: “Tiszteletlen”, “a férfiak legalább hosszú zoknit viseltek” – folytatta.
Campbell, az egykori elfelejtett női főnök, felháborodott, hogy ez a pornó hír volt, és azt mondta a napjában, hogy kátrányozni fognak és az embereket “ilyen mocskot” fogják.
A volt reformpárt versenyzője és a libertariánus, Ian Isbister elájult, amikor a kérdést megemlítették.
Amikor egy újságíró, Miss Soji Nee-t megkérdezték, azt állította, hogy az állomás hivatalos álláspontja az volt, hogy “az 1940-es évek óta megváltozott a politikája, mivel a törvények többé nem találták szexuálisan a bokákat”.
Dutch
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Enkels Onwaardig: Kim Campbell
—————————————— VERDUISTERENDEVERLIEZEN – VANCOUVER, BC – Kim Campbell wankelde over journalisten en nieuwslezers die hun enkels flitsten, “Het is niet waardig”, “de mannen droegen op zijn minst lange sokken”, vervolgde ze.
Campbell, de voormalige vergeten vrouwelijke premier, was gewoon verontwaardigd dat deze porno nieuws heette en zei in haar tijd dat ze mensen te veel zouden opdienen en vervloeken vanwege ‘dergelijke vuiligheid’.
Haar voormalige partij van de Reformatie, Libertarian en Ian Isbister, viel flauw toen het probleem werd genoemd.
Toen een nieuwsproducent, Miss Soji Nee, werd gevraagd, zei ze dat de officiële houding van haar station was: “Dat beleid sinds de jaren veertig was veranderd, omdat de wetten niets seksueel meer vonden over enkels.”
I will pout as long as the world lasts or the Liberals bow down to me, said the NDP Leader. “It’s my turn, damn it, my turn mommy, it’s mine,” Mr Horgan said while having his diaper changed.
“I demand to have the power,” he said. going (and on), “don’t my tears count as anything?”
“I will hold my breath and pout, I shall control BC, not the Liberals under any leader, or turn blue….” he went on, making the reporter’s stringer wish he learned how to hold it.
“Sure he’s infantile,” said the BC Greens Leader, “but he is still denying our independence if it says it stops Christy Clarke, despite not…hmmm…”
He had no position on pouting saying it’s going to be discussed at the next AGM if there is a BC Green Party still.
PRETENDVILLE, STEAM – After years, decades and multiple tours and kills and re-spawning due to death and injury a middle aged man demands respect.
“I deserve a purple heart,” he yelled being turned down health treatment at the Veteran’s Hospital. “I put my life on the line for my country!” he said with a straight face.
George Nehrjok claimed the other day “It wasn’t playing plumber lost in toad stools.” “It was realism, it was adult.”
“If it weren’t for me, we’d suffer more terror attacks!” he shouted as the Vet refused to pay for his gaming seat bed soar. “This is how it is, your country demands your life, and you give it….” when questioning if he had a life to offer by this reporter he went off, “You weren’t there man! How never saw the frame rates I saw!” and quickly stormed off to start his campaign for Vice President in something by Altus.
The Veteran’s Hospital and Affairs Department were laughing too hard to provide a response.
DENHOGG, NED – Canada is more than thrilled to extradite a noted child exploiter in the name of Amanda Todd, but not why you may think.
After a few months time served Aydin Coban plans to start a production company with Swirl Face, “It’s always nice to see our Film Industry grow,” said head of the City Film Quango, “we need to replace Lucifer somehow, and this is closer to the real thing.”
The Canadian Paedophile Protection Agency’s the Rt. Honorable Esy Rolise said “They did their slap on the wrist so leave them alone.”
Canada is leading in countries moving to an instant forgiveness policy towards child rapists.
TOKYO, SWEEDEN – In a shocking reveal by Nintendo on Octorber 19th, 2016, Nintendo shocked the world of gaming and furnishings. Nintendo has made a deal with Ikea to exclusively release it’s new console “The Switch,” not to be confused with the crime based board game about Governor Jeb Bush.
It will come using detachable parts, easily separated by an Alan Key and no bothersome secondary screen. Sony is outraged, “we wanted to release the Lego Vita, and they beat us to it,” said Yudomi Inarectim, CEO of Sony Entertainment and White Van Pornography.
Ikea’s CEO was in the middle of a annual suicide and could not make a statement.
Nintendo had a release stating “It was proud to have a new piece of useless furnishings of it’s own for Ikea.”
Will it succeed, I haven’t been bribed to give that opinion. But you can be sure, it will be on shelves somewhere.
DUKENUKEDEM, JAPAN – In a scathing piece to USA Never, Donald Trump heard that Square place Dragon Quest 7 in a Quran setting. “Proof of ISIS,” and should be banned with Square.
Al-Balad a town in the game is Chapter 19 in the Quran (The City).
Hillary responded that it’s silly and the only thing Square is guilty of is criminal violence against youngsters and when asked, Libertarian Candidate, Johnson said, “Is that a new rapper guy?” and “What the fuck is a Quran?” Clearly a man looking for Bush Jr voters.
Jill Stein doesn’t exist.
ANIMALCROSS, BC – Creep Hunters, known for their sterling work at ruining chain of evidence and catching people talking to children on the street, negating the need for any presumption of innocence has become a house hold name, and cause for many run on sentences.
But now it has gone deeper, where a ring of child molesters have been hiding, the victim one young little kitty.
This kitten is named Katie and with an unknown absent parents, she has been hoping the train from one town to the next in search of municipal sights and sounds, what she got, says Roger Child of “Creep Hunters,” is a ring of Mayors passing her town to town (both male and female) in an attempt to spray their “perfect fruit juices.”
“We love Katie,” said Mayor Ifuhktah of MJ City. “All of us in the world of ACNL love Katie, she brings us great joy,” he prattled on while leching. “Hey Lily just got to old,” another Mayor said from the town of NAMGLA. This is the biggest sting yet, but the RCMP can’t help wonder if they are making this one up.
“Of course not,” said Roger Child of Creep Hunters, “We have proof of this systematic abuse.” “We have pictures of them talking to her and sneaking about town and then to the station,” he went on. “The RCMP just can’t handle how much circumstantial evidence of presumed guilt we collect,” Roger Child continues.
In finality he said that he isn’t sure why they find it so necessary to prove it, since they [The RCMP] can do what they do with “terrorists,’ entrap them.
Her mother Katt could not be found for comment or basic interest in her child.
NEWBERLIN, ARGENTINA – In a final decision, for the sake of pride in the Fuhrer, and the memory of Walt Disney. They could not keep producing a game that promoted the ideals of a Captain America and bashed the SS and their Red Skull.
“We can’t have the Furher’s memory treated this way,” said a Disney official. He went on to say that “the fans should blame the Jews,” and that they should “embrace the final solution.”
Disney plans on rebooting it with a new game, “Red Skull’s Hydra Heroes,” to show off the positive side of offering Jews and homosexuals free transport and funerals and benefit of free labor and Cigarette, Booze free, Vegan life styles.
In a final statement, “Vote Stein” was yelled from Disney’s Once Secret Layer in Argentina.
Disney promises no more attacks on Nazis in future electronic media and asks people to buy their latest Train Simulation Game.
1000 Gold isn’t the end for MAA players, offering a prize of silver to all those who defend their decision.
TWISTEDSISTER, OH – In acclamation the US Lemon Party endorsed, Bernie Sander’s for President. When asked if he refused it, they said, “he never said he didn’t.” If he does we are ready to accuse him of every phobe in the book. After all he did endorse Super Predator opposition Candidate Hilary Clinton, so he can change his mind about anything.
Super Predator also endorsed her despite past attacks after she bribed him with plenty of free Tyler Chicken and Water Melons.
As for the Lemons, there is no telling if their dream will come true.
PORNVALLEY, DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA – It was announced, in a desire to inflict something, “worse than water boarding,” Trump is hiring a key advisors from, the Fetish Smut Provider, Kink.com, including but not limit to James Dean.
The site was known to have turned down water boarding as a theme due to it being too soft core. Trump was also excited by the idea of people like James Dean who hold rape charges over their heads, “I really relate to this,” said Trump while trying to Masturbate unsuccessfully to a Water Boarding Video (available at the CIA Gift Shop in Langley).
While Hilary is looking into sex toy tech, to invest in a “Strap on Smart Bomb,” her donors offered to make her if becoming President, Trump is eager to start right at home with Kink. “They and James Dean know brutality,” said Trump, “and I want some and they will get all the defense funds and access they need.” Dean a great lover of Israel is eager to help teach the fine art or tormenting human beings. “It’s for the glory of my people, the chosen children of Israel” he said from the business end of a glory hole.
Many aren’t sure if they prefer to use boredom of watching the porn or using the torture techniques in their pornographic expression.
NWORD, ALABAMA – Dwayne Murphy made a complaint saying that the word trigger sounds too much like “their word,” as he put it.
“Those racist mother fuckers think we don’t know,” he rages on, “I know they are saying Nigger and replacing the T, how dare they claim to be Niggered!?” He has no idea what he is going to do about it, saying whitey runs everything, so maybe he will just cap some ass.
Colleges are on an alert, not about his threats, someone used a sexist term, putting the terror alert to red.
“Trigger is our word,” said Dwayne, while checking his gun as I slip away.
The Ghost of George Wallace, Gov, appeared and thanked his fellow Democrats for coming up with a passive aggressive way to make Segregation a “black idea.” “We tried it, small time with Water Sports,” the specter said.
“Plans for getting Sharpton to battle for Black water fountains and stores and Buses are in the works,” said DNC spokesman, “If the press will cover it, he will say it.”
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